About

I'm Nir and this is my writing dump. I read and write lots of slash and femslash. Most of my posts will be fanfics, but there might be the occasional piece of original fiction, or even character profiles. Fics are tagged by characters, pairings, and fandoms, so check my tags page if you're looking for anything specific. Layout credits are in my profile.
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Title: Loved and Lost
Fandom: Dragon Age (Origins, II, Inquisition)
Characters: Dorian Pavus, Cadenza Lavellan
Pairings: Dorian/Cadenza
Notes: Dorian and Cadenza have never really discussed the 'l' word before. No, not the one with lesbians. Part one of a series of drabbles/one-shots gushing about the DA romances.

Chapter TwoChapter ThreeChapter Four

"I love you."

It came out in a rush. Cadenza hadn't meant to say it. He almost wished he could take it back, with the way that Dorian went still.

Was it too soon? Or what if Dorian didn't feel the same way? He wanted to kick himself for not even considering it. He had always thought that love was just an unspoken thing between them; was he wrong to assume that it was even there to begin with?

His guilt-pile abruptly fell apart when Dorian finally lifted his head, trying and failing to hide a smile; that big, utterly graceless smile that Cadenza had only ever seen directed at him.

"I love you too." He laughed. "Maker, it's official now. No more coyly mouthing it into your hair after you've fallen asleep."

Cadenza's chest seemed almost painfully tight, but at least he remembered how to breathe. Dorian looked at him, wistful. "Have we really never said it until now?"

"No. I didn't..." Cadenza tapped his fingers against his thighs, one two, three four, needing the rhythm to calm his stumbling heart, "I didn't want to push."

"You say that like I would have minded hearing that you love me." Dorian stepped closer, his hands taking their familiar place around Cadenza's waist. He felt Cadenza's hands fidgeting, and tapped his own fingers against his back; four times, and Cadenza's breath steadied. "I'm the one who said I wanted more. Or have we forgotten?"

He hadn't. Cadenza remembered that vulnerability in Dorian's face the first time they slept together, and every night Dorian lingered at the foot of the bed, as if he wasn't sure if he should stay.

You learn not to hope for more.

Dorian smiled, hesitant -- but hoping, waiting. "I might have. Forgotten, that is. I hope you don't mind refreshing my memory."

Cadenza cupped his cheek, murmured "I love you" into a kiss; and just like that, it was easy. He wondered why he'd never said it sooner.